War in my Mind

I’m a listicle person.  I have a list of things to do, of things I want, of plans for the future.  And everything was moving towards the direction I envision.  Then suddenly, I’m caught dead on my tracks.  When ABS-CBN lost its franchise and the pandemic hit, a lot of my insecurities surfaced.  I encountered self-doubt, anxiety and fear.  My nicely pressed life looked like it’s just out of a dryer, full of deep-set wrinkles.

My demons are in my head.  My mind is my worst enemy.  I have a long list of what ifs. What if… we might not have enough… that things would be difficult financially… that things wouldn’t be how I imagined it. And so on.  Worries, that honestly, are stressing me out.  Then my rational mind, thank God, would cut my crazy thoughts and would always set things straight, and point things out - that these things that I’m mulling over, really, might not even happen. That worrying is a complete of waste of my time, especially since, historically speaking, none of my worst case scenarios ever materialized.

So what’s the point?  The battle is in our heads.  And we have to win it.

I subscribed to a plan in the YouVersion Bible app.  And it has lots and lots of reading plans that you can subscribe to depending on your current need or state of mind.  So I subscribed to the “Winning the War in Your Mind” reading plan.  I knew me.  And I knew that I need to reframe or rewire my mind so I wouldn’t dwell so much on the negative.  And Day 4 was spot on.  It was exactly what I need.  It mentioned that a tool for changing your thinking is the rewire principle.  To rewire the brain is to renew the mind.

It encouraged me to declare God’s promises, and put them as shields to bullet-proof my mind when negative vibes start to creep in especially when I’m faced with a lot of uncertainties.

I would like to share the verses that were included in Day 4.  This might come in handy when you wrestle with your “bad” thoughts.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”  Philippians 4:12

“God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in very good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8

“God will meet all your needs according to the richness of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

“Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2

The plan also encouraged me to write my own declaration.  My own blueprint of a battle plan.  This would be my weapon to bomb those unhelpful thoughts.  Sharing this here as an example of how you can also write your own.

“I will always be happy with what I have.  I will never experience lack in any aspect of my life.  God blesses me abundantly so that I may abundantly bless others.  God, in his faithful loving ways, will fulfill all my heart’s desires according to his wonderful plan, and perfect timing.”

I hope that all of us will be able to win the wars in our minds.  And slowly but surely be assured that things will be alright.  It might not happen immediately. But let’s keep on trying. Three Ps: patience, perseverance and practice can lead to the ultimate P - perfection. Thank you for reading.  God bless you.  May all your dreams and heart’s desires come true.

Family Prayer Time

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20 

It was a challenge for my family to come together and pray. Although we go to church every Sunday and we haven't missed a single Sunday mass, my husband and I weren't able to introduce a daily night time prayer tradition. Probably because my work schedule before was so erratic that we couldn't find a regular time to huddle for a prayer. But as they say, if there's a will, there's a way. I guess there wasn't enough motivation to do it and we didn't try hard enough.

But a family prayer time was always a part of my own prayer. I have religiously, prayed for it. That by His grace, this tradition would be introduced organically and fluidly, without debate and fuss, in our family.

The blessing came one night. When I visited the girls' room to say my good night. My eldest was already asleep while my youngest daughter was still awake. I asked her if she's done with her night time prayer. She told me, "not yet". I asked if she wanted to pray with me. She said, "yes". It was my golden opportunity. We prayed together. She even mentioned that she would like to pray for her former adviser who was on a two-month leave because of an operation. It was the first time I heard her worry about someone's health outside our family. After we're done, I felt really good. And I knew she felt good too. I saw relief in her eyes. I took advantage of this. I told her that I am putting her in-charge of our family's prayer time. 

The next night my youngest daughter took her new responsibility to heart. She called everyone to drop everything for our family prayer time. I suggested to use the girls' devotional book as a starting point. Everybody agreed. My youngest was the first one who read the devotional for the day. Eventually, it became a shared responsibility. Everyone had their turn.

This is our guide for our family prayer time

Our family prayer time was really a desire of my heart. And I'm very grateful that we are now doing it. I find it comforting that we're praying as a family. That family agenda are being lifted to God, together.  I hope that we can keep this up forever. That we wouldn't take it for granted. And we would always see the goodness and the blessings of spending time together to pray for each other, with each other.

Here's praying that all families, would be able to come together to offer their worries and praise to God.

My 2016 Journey: Lessons on Fear and Faith

Have you thought about what happened to your 2016? If I'm going to look back at how my year went, I can say that it was all full of daunting tasks, challenges and self-doubt. But then, in these bumps, I saw how grace overflowed. 2016 was the year we finally finished our house - a dream project we never thought we would be able to pull off. It was also the year that I took on added responsibilities at work. It was also the year that we needed to go out our comfort zone and transfer homes from Malabon to Quezon City. It was also the year that we needed to transfer our children to another school. It was a year that made me worry about a lot of things. 1. Would we have enough funds to finish the house the way we envisioned it? 2. Would I be able to do well with a new role at work? 2. Would we be able to survive being away from a solid support system in Malabon, where all my family and relatives are? 3. Would my children be able to adjust to a new school? I can conclude that it was indeed a year of disruptions. But I realized that it was also a year of surrender. Everyday, in my quiet time, I would open my heart about my fears and worries and I would always ask for hand-holding. I find myself being consoled with this verse: "Be still. And know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) Knowing that my God is greater that all my worries, that everything is in His perfect will, sends a sense of calm in my being.

Tasks seemed insurmountable. It felt overwhelming sometimes. But days passed, things moved forward, and today I caught myself contemplating on the year that was. And I felt a tremendous sense of gratitude that I'm here...In a sweet,bright spot after a mountain climb. We've finished the house. We've already moved in. My nanay and tatay checks on us from time to time. The upside of being away from our support system meant that we have to rely on each other to get things done around the house. And it feels good that there's a lot teamwork going on. The girls are happier in their current school. There are more things to do at work, but I have magical helpers.

We just need to find our bright spot. Photo by Ramir Cruz.

My Top 5 Reasons why Filipinos should visit the National Art Gallery (at the National Museum)

It was the first time that we went to the National Art Gallery of the National Musuem with my kids. I love the facade.  It was such a grand-looking place.  I think the first time I went with Ramir was when I was still in college, for a classwork we need to do.  Going here was like a breath of fresh air.  It was something new to our family, but we knew we would enjoy and learn a lot from. I have been to some art galleries in the US - the Musuem of Modern Art and the Metropolitan Museum in New York City, the National Art Gallery in Washington, DC and De Young Museum in San Francisco, and the way ours was arranged now was something at par with those galleries.  Although of course, in terms of collections, ours wasn't as expansive, but I must say, we really have good ones.  Besides, the notable works of our country's national artists are here.  It really makes me feel proud. So here are my top 5 favorite collections at our very own National Art Gallery.

1. Sculptures of Jose Rizal
I only see them in books and I'm here face to face with the works of our national hero.  I am a fan of our renaissance man and his art pieces are representations of his creative facet. 

2. Sculptures of Guillermo Tolentino
His sculptures, to me, are the best.  His human forms are incomparable.  His iconic works like the Bonifacio Monument and the Oblation have brought the spotlight to his genius.

3. Paintings of Juan Luna
I can only swoon over his Spolarium.  His light and shadows are also wonderful.  His mastery of the medium has brought much pride to our country.

4. Paintings of Carlos Francisco
I can't comprehend how an individual can work on murals. But Botong's a muralist.  And I'm so impressed.  His four murals - The Progress of Medicine in the Philippines is proof of his great artistry.  I actually sat down in front of it and stared for at least five minutes.

5. Paintings of Fernando Amorsolo
His countryside paintings are the best countryside paintings I've ever seen.  I don't know what it is about the Amorsolos that gives you that peacefulness and laid back feel of the countryside.  The tones and richness of his colors are uniquely his.

There are many more collections and noteworthy pieces.  I also love the paintings of Vicente Manansala and Felix Resurreccion Hidalgo. I think even if you are not an art enthusiast, you would enjoy all the beautiful art works that are displayed at the National Art Gallery. In my opinion,  museum visits should be something that every Filipino should do.  I think there should be a conscious effort on our part to impart the good heritage that we have and pass it on to the next generation.  Filipinos have amazing talents.  We might have conquered the world with music, but there's much more in our arts and culture that are also worthy of the spotlight.  To know more about them, the National Art Gallery of the National Museum is a good start.

DETAILS:
1. Address: P. Burgos Drive, Rizal Park, Manila
2. The National Museum is open Tuesdays to Sundays, from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM.
Free admission on Sundays.
3. Entrance Fees: Museum of the Filipino People and National Art Gallery
(also includes visit to exhibits of the National Planetarium.)
Students - P50.00
Senior Citizen - P120.00
Adult - P150.00
4. For inquiries call:
Museum Education Division
Telefax #: 527 0278
Email: education@nationalmuseum.gov.ph
Look for Lina/Tess
 

On Teaching Our Children How To Save

When Rainie was Grade 2, I started giving her 10 pesos everyday as her baon. This was on top of her packed meals. I was thinking that by giving her 10 pesos I'm teaching her how to budget her money. But every time she would go home, I would inquire of her 10 pesos and she would account that her money has gone kaput because she bought, at least to me, a wide range of non-sensical food items - from gummy worms to gulaman to candies and ice cream. I was in a dilemma of not giving her anymore money and the need to teach her the lesson of financial management. Then a friend told me the wonderful idea of not giving her the money but recording it, it was a case of paper gain and paper loss. Everything was just on paper. Here's how we did it. I got a used notebook. And every day, I would record the date and write down 10 pesos beside it. I told Rainie that if she would need to spend on anything she would need to tell me. I would give her the money and deduct the amount from our record. This way I was able to monitor her expenses and she was able to track the money she has. I give her a 10 peso incentive for every week she didn't spend anything. This worked. For the two years we've been doing this, Rainie was able to save around 8,000 pesos yearly. I asked her to deposit this in the bank under her own account.

It was indeed a very good exercise. Rainie is now more cautious and conscious on budgeting and spending her money. Thanks to my friend Dang Baldonado for this brilliant idea. 

How about you? Do you have some budgeting ideas? Please do share on the comment section below.

Traveling with children: Some Tips

When I was a new mom, I never thought that I would be lugging my kids along to places Ramir and I have never been.  At that time, it was a long shot, at least for me.  I didn't come from a traveling family.  To my parents, bringing kids along, to the mall or to anywhere, would usually eat a lot of time and would cause a lot of hassle. They wouldn't want to go through the hoopla of going around with kids in tow, so they'll go through things without us or would not go at all.  We understood. But as I became a parent, I realized that I've imbibed the attitude. I, too, dreaded the idea of bringing kids along to anywhere.  I was haunted by scary scenes of uncontrollable tantrums, rowdy children and panicking parents.  Honestly, I wouldn't have the guts to travel with my kids to anywhere, if not for the prodding of my husband.  To his credit, he was in a family who loves to bring kids along to wherever. I always felt that his parents were so groovy and very game when it comes to traveling with kids. They don't mind the effort - packing stuff, bringing food, identifying places to go.  I guess my husband brought their traveling experiences with him that's why he had the courage to entice me to bring our kids to adventures I never thought we would embark on.  It was a team effort, plus a heavy dose of patience and planning plus wet wipes and a stash of snacks and candies that did it for us.  

R was two years old when we brought her to Palawan.  S was one year old when we brought her to Bacolod. We didn't stop since.  R was four when she had her first out of the country trip, while S was three. Our longest road trip was 12 hours in Sagada, while our longest plane ride was almost 11 hours to the US, with an 11 hour layover in Korea.  It wasn't always a breeze, but it can be done.  It was challenging but it's not impossible. If you are having second thoughts on traveling with your children, it's perfectly normal.  I was having those thoughts too seven years ago. The rewards were way more than what you can imagine.  For me, I've learned a lot of things about myself, my husband and my children through traveling.  It also taught us a lot of lessons - societal, cultural, historical, even psychological. To me,  traveling is an enriching and educational experience that everybody should try. 

This post is about some of the things that I've learned for the past eight years that I've been traveling with the Rainbow Sisters.

When a Loved One Left for Good and Some Things I Learned While Preparing for a Funeral

It's a fact of life that we should all be prepared for... That our parents would go before us and it's a child's responsibility, a final act of love, to give them the proper burial.

Death, as morbid as it sounds is a natural course.  One day, in his perfect time, all of us would have to go. And no matter how dreadful the topic is, one way or the other, we have to deal with it. 

My father-in-law passed away last September in the United States. He was a good man. He loved my daughters and welcomed me to his family.  Although he's been sick with the Big C for the past several years, he's passing came to us unexpectedly.  As a matter of fact, we're trying to find ways to spend our Christmas in California, together with him and my mother- and sister-in-law. But truly, there are certain things in this world that we don't have any control of. And at the end of the day, the Lord's power is so immense, that no matter what we do, He's will, will takeover everything.

I must say that the gift of cancer is time. Although it greets you with the possibility of someone being taken away from you, it also forces you to race against  time... To make more memories, to prepare for the inevitable, to deal with unfinish businesses. It also gives you the opportunity to accept one's fate, be at peace with oneself and ultimately, be closer to God.

After Lolo Pedro's death, Tatay Fermin's hits closest to home. It forced us to deal with pain and the scenario that people who knew and love him would want to pay their last respects.  The reality of grieving while having to arrange for an appropriate funeral service is imminent. So we went with the flow of events.  

Ramir went to the US just days after Tatay's death. Tatay has a one day viewing there, then his remains were cremated. After some days, Ramir, Nanay Dely, her sister and brother-in-law went home to the Philippines.  Tatay's finally home. 

We hanged this tarpaulin outside our house days before his body arrived from the US.

Rak of Aegis - Top 4 Reasons Why You Should Watch

I try to expose my children to Filipino theater productions because I feel they'd be more appreciative of Filipino talent and creativity. And somehow it would instill a sense of pride, dahil ang galing ng Pinoy.  When we decided to watch Rak of Aegis as a family, it was initially to support my officemates' business venture.  They bought one show of Rak and they were selling tickets.  Little did we know that we would be in a very nice surprise.

photo from PETA's website

Here are my top four reasons why you should watch Rak of Aegis, even if you have kids, even if you're not a fan of Aegis' music.

Father's Day and Homemade Celebration Cupcakes

We made something special for the fathers in our family.  We got this recipe from Yummy magazine.  And we're so happy how things turned out.  We just accentuated our cupcakes with some word cutouts (which we printed on our ever reliable printer) to make it more personalized.  R was very proud with her creations, and Ramir was very happy. This is our creative and cost-efficient way of celebrating Father's Day.

 

On Playing an Instrument and Practicing

Last night R, was practicing her violin lessons.  There's this one piece which she couldn't perform according to her liking.  I can see her frustration and anger. She was grumbling and stamping her feet. She played several times more and she still wasn't pleased.  She still couldn't get it.  She succumbed to her emotions.  She cried her heart out.  I didn't console her.  I just told her that learning an instrument is not easy.  She would need to put in so many hours just to get better and be good at what she does.  

My bag was slashed. Then my wallet was gone.

I am a commuter. I take a tricycle, ride a jeep, then ride a bus to go to work, every single time. Today was no different. I rode the bus at Letre Road in Malabon. I got a seat somewhere in the middle. I always take the window seat of the two-seater side of the bus. My fare was collected by the bus conductor. Nearing Monumento, a lady, sat beside me. She was texting and talking to someone so I didn't pay much attention to her. Then I saw the bus inspector checking bus tickets of the passengers. Instinctively, I opened my bag then got my tickets from my wallet. After this, I hugged my bag again. I always hug my bag all throughout my journey. And my wallet was positioned in such a way that it was on my stomach side. Precautionary measures, you know. Then I fell asleep like I always do. I remember the bus was nearing Meralco in Munoz when I dozed off. I woke up in MRT Trinoma Station. I realized that a guy was already my seat mate. I didn't mind really. Although I noticed that he has a tattoo in his right upper arm. And he stinks, like that of a man who hasn't taken a bath for days. And he was not moving, just dead-staring, like in a trance. Still I didn't pay attention. Reaching Quezon Avenue MRT Station, I excused myself. He let me pass. I noticed that there was a man sitting on the other side. I felt they exude the same vibe. Still, I didn't care. I went down the bus and thought I would buy boiled bananas and corn. As I approached the vendor, I opened my bag and realized my wallet was gone. I knew I was pick pocketed. I was racking my brains how it was done. I inspected my bag. And saw a slash, it was so well-done. It was so pro.

Back-to-School Cheap Finds in Malabon - Globe Paper Mills and BJMP Plastics

I love Divisoria. It's my ultimate destination for cheap, discounted and bulk buys. But it's not always easy to go there.  Traffic and the excruciating heat always pose a challenge. So when Ramir mentioned that there were two places in Governor Pascual, Malabon that are Divisoria-like. I jumped in, especially since we need to buy some materials for the school opening.

GLOBE PAPER MILLS / KENG HUA PAPER PRODUCTS
The compound of Globe Paper Mills looks very intimidating on the outside. Walled and gated, it would give an impression of exclusivity, if not exude a for-employees-only vibe. And it doesn't have a signage that a warehouse sale is on-going inside the premises. A passerby would be totally clueless.

 

A Crafternoon Party (An Arts and Crafts-themed Birthday)

It was a dear friend's birthday celebration on May 16. But she celebrated her birthday early. And we're fortunate to be there.

Me with the pretty birthday girl

It's on the invitation - Crafternoon Party. Two words that set the theme for a unique birthday celebration.

I was Robocop. (In my pains and trials, I felt God's love.)

In one of my quiet times with the Lord, I read about what God does with imperfection. Ephesians 2:10 said, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." This compelled me to write about my own imperfection. I realized that this might help or inspire someone's life, the same way other people's story have touched mine.

Robocop 
I was 7 years old when I was diagnosed with a congenital spine defect that made my upper body lean more to the right. The doctor's solution was to put me on a back brace, which I was suppose to wear 23 hours a day.  Kids got creative when they saw my new body gear.  They called me a new name - robocop. I couldn't remember why I didn't mind. I guess I learned earlier on that other's opinion about me, wouldn't heal me.

This is the closest I can find of my first back brace. Photo Courtesy of  www.leeprosthetic.com

Oil Pulling, Gina Lopez and G Stuff

I heard about oil pulling somewhere. I googled it and read about it. I learned that it's good for detoxifiying and cleansing so I made a mental note to try it. But I haven't gotten around into doing it because of two things. One, I haven't really found a store that carried the oil for oil pulling. And two, I'm dilly-dallying. Probably, I dont trust myself to pull off a 20-minute oil swishing in my mouth.
But just  a week ago, I started doing it. Let me tell you a brief background.

I was invited in a bloggers meet with Ms Gina Lopez. She recently launched her G Stuff line and wanted bloggers to know about it. G Stuff products are Gina Lopez-certified. She uses them, believes in them, and swears by them. All of her products are 100% philippine made and benefits the communities that produced them because 100% of the profits go back to them. I'm a Gina Lopez believer. Ive worked with her for almost 15 years, having ABS-CBN Lingkod Kapamilya Foundation as my account.  Ive seen how passionate, honest and sincere she is. I knew that I have to try her products because even before she met with us, I was already listening to her raves about G Stuff.

With Ms. Gina Lopez at the bloggers' meet

Magkasama Tayo sa Kwento ng Pasko - ABS-CBN Christmas Station ID 2013

We started with a dream. To capture reality. To capture our stars in more intimate, undirected and unguarded scenes. In our minds and our hearts, we feel that these are priceless moments, moments we don’t see every day but very heartwarming and truly inspiring to witness. We also have a theory… that kindness, despite difficulties and hardships, regardless of one’s status in life, is easily given away, especially by Filipinos. I must say that this Christmas Station ID is probably the hardest we’ve done in the past ten years. But I must say it is the most fulfilling.  Seeing the stars light up people's lives makes you appreciate stardom in a different way.  There were three reasons why this is by far the most ambitious station ID we've ever mounted.

That's me in red and blue blouse.

Clifford Manatad: Fighting the Cancer Battle

I'm not new to the 6th floor of the AFP Medical Center at V. Luna St., Quezon City.  We've visited this place several times to do some outreach activities for their pediatric patients. Last Sunday, we came back to share some blessings. We were greeted by a very friendly boy. He welcomed us and asked for our names.  In return, he gave his. Clifford.  Before proceeding to the activity room, we passed by a makeshift altar along the hallway. He touched one of the statues and did the sign of the cross.

The kids of AFP Medical Center's Pediatric Ward

Ten Things With You: Some Notes on our 10th Anniversary (and 17 Years of Togetherness)

Time flies so fast when you're having fun.  It's been 10 years (of being married)  and 17 years of being together.  It's almost half a lifetime.  It would be uneventful if I won't write anything about it, so here I am, after the crazy month of December, tinkering on the keyboard.  Honestly, I have this in my head, but time was scarce on our anniversary month.  That's why I haven't gotten around writing it.  So when the chaos has subsided, and I'm starting to get into the rhythm of my normal life, I am at it.  So let me share with you ten things that I have realized about my marriage with Ramir - the man of the house, my better half, the father of the Rainbow Sisters, the guy I swore to be with.

On Her First Communion

December 8.  Feast of the Immaculate Conception.  R's first communion.  I was overwhelmed with joy.  It felt like I was offering my child to the Lord a second time around, first being on her baptism.

The Children of Isla Pulo - A Christmas Station ID 2013 Primer

Because of my job, I get to meet children like them. Children who walk to school, who're barefooted, who get sick easily, who help their parents make a living, who'd listen to any story, who'd play and laugh with you even if they barely know you.  I'm amazed. Because they have touched my life in ways words couldn't explain. Every smile, every memory, every story that I have been blessed to witness in Isla Pulo (Tanza, Navotas)... I'll bring with me.  As a tribute to what they have imparted, I'll share with you one of the games they taught me.  

The kids and me