On Playing an Instrument and Practicing

Last night R, was practicing her violin lessons.  There's this one piece which she couldn't perform according to her liking.  I can see her frustration and anger. She was grumbling and stamping her feet. She played several times more and she still wasn't pleased.  She still couldn't get it.  She succumbed to her emotions.  She cried her heart out.  I didn't console her.  I just told her that learning an instrument is not easy.  She would need to put in so many hours just to get better and be good at what she does.  

I reminded her that it was her choice to stick to violin.  That it was her who prodded us to enroll her in violin lessons. I even told her that the Beatles put in some thousand hours in practice before they became THE Beatles (I read that in Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers). I pepped talked her that people who are good in what they do were not born great.  They honed their skils and talents, in hours and hours of practice.  Sometimes, it isn't enough that we can play, we need to practice to get better, to be better. But still she couldn't stop crying.    I left her to cry on her own. You may say that I gave her some time and space to grieve her "failure".  I went upstairs.  She followed, still crying.  Her father was sitting on the bed. She sat right next to him, buried her head in his legs and cried some more. Ramir told her that it was ok. That she'll get it if she practice some more.  I guess she got the drift. She stopped, made a deep breath, then looked at me and said, "Samahan mo ulit akong mag-practice bukas."

I guess the best part for me was, she didn't quit. And I also realized that she really liked the violin.  I'm not a tiger mom.  Sometimes, I wanted to be because I think doing so would make her do good in the instrument.  I wanted to push her and push her more.  But I wanted her to enjoy her music.  To do everything in stride.  I wanted her to figure out on her own that everything depends on her.  If gets better or not is entirely up to her. But I'll always be there to cheer her on.  To encourage her and just to be there for her.  

To you R, remember that success or failure, I'll be your Mama.  I hope you'll pursue the things that you love. And would take chances, and strive more with things that make you happy.  Jim Carrey, an American actor who's very good in comedy,  gave a commencement speech and this struck me the most, “My father could have been a great comedian but he did not believe that would be possible so he made a conservative choice instead and got a “safe” job as an accountant. When I was 12 years old he was let go from that safe job and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learnt many great lessons from my father, not in the least of which was that you can fail in what you do not want. So you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.”  Never, never give up on something that you love to do.  Quitting should never be an option.  Strive hard, be patient, practice.  I'm sure you'll get there.  Mahal na mahal. Mama