Ten Things With You: Some Notes on our 10th Anniversary (and 17 Years of Togetherness)

Time flies so fast when you're having fun.  It's been 10 years (of being married)  and 17 years of being together.  It's almost half a lifetime.  It would be uneventful if I won't write anything about it, so here I am, after the crazy month of December, tinkering on the keyboard.  Honestly, I have this in my head, but time was scarce on our anniversary month.  That's why I haven't gotten around writing it.  So when the chaos has subsided, and I'm starting to get into the rhythm of my normal life, I am at it.  So let me share with you ten things that I have realized about my marriage with Ramir - the man of the house, my better half, the father of the Rainbow Sisters, the guy I swore to be with.

1. Enjoy each other.

I’m used to doing things alone.  To being on my own.  But he made me realize that having a constant companion (who has the tenacity to deal with me and insistent enough to be with me) is more fun. In him, I will always find a travel partner, shopping buddy, movie and music researcher, handyman, craft guy, palengke mate, raket assistant and everything else in between.

2. Ang unang magalit ang may karapatang magalit.

His calm-(pero nakakatakot)-demeanor and no-shouting, no name calling style of dealing with conflict is something I admire. I'm a fan of his patience.  He would not engage in a "battle" even if he's right if I'm at the height of my anger.  He'll let me cool down then would make me realise his point.

3. Dapat sa simbahan ang tuloy.

I feel that it has helped us a lot that we have the same religious beliefs.  I think we've grown together in faith because we believe that we can't do it alone.  I also admire his tenacity to not miss Sunday masses.   Anywhere we are, if it's a Sunday, we would detour or reconfigure our itinerary just to find a church.  He also insists on bringing our kids to church even if it meant that he'll have to run after them or carry them when they fall asleep. He feels that early on, we should start a family tradition.

4.  Leave some space for miracles to happen.

I never thought that my life would get any better.  Or I would have children. Or would go to places I can only imagine.  Heck, I never thought that with my condition, somebody would even imagine his future with me.  But with him, my dreams started turning into reality.  He's been my witness (and cheerleader) in obstacles being hurdled and wishes coming true.

5. Kung may kasalanan ka, mag-sorry ka.

He would not let me get away without saying "I'm sorry."  I remember him saying, "Hindi porke't ok ka na, ok na 'yun."  Saying I'm sorry is not just an admittance of a mistake, it's also an acknowledgement that someone was hurt.  From experience, an apology eases our pains and prevents us from going historical with our past "sins."

6. Kung magbabati rin lang kayo, ngayon na.

When Ramir and I would have a misunderstanding, we would think about, "maghihiwalay ba tayo dahil dito?"  To which the answer is, "malamang hindi." So see number 5 and don't dwell on it.  A day is long enough.  We realized that cradling bad vibes is a waste of time. 

7. You're still your own person.

I thought my life and dreams would be over when I got married and had children. I was so wrong. My life is still my own.  I get to do my thing, he gets to do his.  But with utmost respect of course, to our status of being married.

8. Believe in each other.

If both of you agree on the same goals, and both your eyes are on the prize, there's nothing you can't achieve.  We sold water fountains, chocolates, books and jewelleries to finance our wedding, our rent, our lakwatsa. When Ramir says that he's got me covered, I believe him. He has a very good track record.  I know I can trust him because he's proven his reliability.

9. Okay lang 'yan.

I stress myself out on a lot of things. I’m not a very in the “now” person.  I learned to  just let things be.  To go with the flow. To have fun. To joke around. To be okay when things go crazy or don’t turn out the way it was planned.

10. Make happy memories.

He would amp occasions a notch higher by always thinking of ways to make special days special and memorable. He doesn't settle with the usual. I still remember how during Valentine's Day he asked his officemates to cut paper hearts that he can scatter on the floor or how during my birthday he filled our living room with candle lights or how he visited Rainie in school and surprised her with a bouquet of roses on her birthday or how he filled an inflatable pool with water the night before Sunnie’s birthday because he knew that she’ll go crazy when she wakes up the next day.  Happy memories binds a family. Efforts to make them should be encouraged and not go unnoticed.


To you Ramir,
This journey has been remarkable.  I'm glad that our paths crossed.  I'll take this with you, anytime, even in another lifetime.  Mahal na mahal.