Overcoming Shyness and R's Summer Recital

My R has been very shy.  She's the type who would hide behind your back if prodded to perform anything in front of a crowd.  Even if you encouraged her, she would easily clam up.  We saw this side of her at early age.  And sometimes, I feel sad because most of the times, she would practice really, really hard and then when the day of reckoning arrives, she'll not do it.  I remember at 3 years old she was tasked to recite the poem All Things Bright And Beautiful on her nursery graduation.  Everyday, she would recite it with us as her audience.  And we're blown away because she really knew it by heart.  But at the back of my mind, I'm worried.  Because I knew she might not be prepared to stand in front of an audience.  And I was right, when it was her turn to deliver the poem, she just bowed her head at nagsumiksik sa kili-kili ko. She told me that she doesn't want to recite the poem because everyone was staring at her.  I told her, "You can close your eyes so you wouldn't need to see those eyes looking at you." When she realized that I was right, she went in front, got the mic, closed her eyes and recited her poem, only people were already starting to leave because the program was over.  Imagine the heartbreak.  I was mad at first then Ramir pacified me.  He was right, she's just a kid and she'll come around on her own time and on her own terms.

We enrolled her on ballet classes.  Something she enjoyed doing.  We started to see some changes as she gets excited to perform in a group.  But the major transformation happened when she coaxed us to enroll her at a nearby music school.  She has voice lessons twice a week.  At the Henry Martin School of Music, less than a hundred steps from our house, she has found her voice and a lot of self-confidence.  When we were asked her if we wanted to participate in the school's summer recital, we said yes because R wanted to be in it.

We saw R's hardwork.  She would practice day and night.  In front of the TV, while we're on the road, even when she's just sitting around.  She would sing the songs assigned to her and with very little encouragement, she would stand in front of us and belt it out.  To our surprise, she got her notes right.  I remember, I shed a tear the first time she sang he solo, Glowing Inside (sang by Nikki Gil).  I became sentimental.  I realized how much she'd grown.

Our much awaited day arrived.  The show was at 6pm.  We were at the Philam Life Theater at 10am.  She started her day like an artista.  Rehearsals in the morning.  Lunch. Make up.  Final blocking and last minute rehearsals.  I never heard a single complain.  She just enjoyed it.  And we're so happy for her.

Their opening number - Piliin mo ang Pilipinas (Theme of ABS-CBN's Choose Philippines

She sang her songs and like a movie fan, tili ako nang tili.  Bilang nanay, wala akong pakialam.  Kahit boses ko yung nangingibabaw.  Stage mother na kung stage mother.  I wanted her to feel how much it meant to us that she tried her best to conquer her fears.  I have been in a stage a dozen times and although I can say that I'm ok with it, I knew that there are a lot of people who would do whatever it takes to stay away from it.  And I don't blame them, stage fright is so real and consuming. But I don't want my daughter to feel that she can't conquer it.  That she can't do something about it. 

Solo number - Glowing Inside (by Nikki Gil)

Group number - Fireworks (by Katy Perry)

The show ended at 8:30.  We treated all our kamag-anaks who went out of their way to watch R's performance.  Andami naming pala. I knew from this day forward, we'll have something to look back to.  Something that we can use as an example every time R would feel that she can't stand in front of a crowd.  A day in her life, when she has proven that she can do it, on her own.

Cast members

Curtain call

P.S. To R, you made us proud. The only way to conquer one's fear, stage-related or otherwise, is to conquer it.  'Wag kang matakot sa sasabihin ng iba.  'Wag kang matakot magkamali.  You'll realize that everyone commits mistake and everyone will have an opinion.  What matters is your heart.  Make sure that you pursue what you love. And no regrets.  Do what you want to do. In the best way you can do it.  With the best intentions.  May your life be filled with happiness and dreams coming true. Mahal na mahal.